I ‘m not sure exactly when it happened. Sometime after getting engaged, the only thing people want to know about now is “how’s the wedding planning coming?” Apparently that’s the most important thing about me. Who cares about the wedding? I really don’t. I just want to be married to this man and spend this life here on earth at his side.
So, I ask myself, “how is preparing to be a wife going?” Some days, I am so incredibly selfish it makes me cringe. James and I can’t just call each other up on the phone whenever we want to. We have to be intentional about scheduling when we will talk since we have to utilize the internet and his is rather limited. Sometimes I can’t wait for the day when we don’t have to talk. All we do is talk. I just want to sit in silence with his arms around me and just sit there!
On another note, both meals I’ve had to eat today from the campus cafeteria have left me incredibly disappointed and hungry so I’ve been sitting in my room trying to get up the energy to drive to walmart and get something tasty. Like a lunchable. I’m such a college student. I could live off of cereal and lunchables–the lunchables mainly because my mom would never let us get them when my siblings and I were younger. It will be nice to live in a house with a kitchen, and groceries and a big fridge and freezer.
Finally, I’ve decided to give up dessert for lent. I love dessert a lot. I could eat it for every meal. This past weekend I got to play in the worship band for a women’s retreat and there were always cookies and brownies around…I’m too embarassed to tell you how many cookies I ate in the two day span. And when I am stresssed or frustrated, sad, or even just bored, my first instinct is to turn to food instead of God. My friend told me her mom refers to that as “soul cocaine”. Amen! Anything just to numb the soul and feel better if only for a moment.