I have some thoughts rolling around in my head, and it’s safe to say I am torn on this issue. At the beginning of our marriage, James and I went through Dave Ramsey’s FPU (twice actually, but once is all it took for God to grab hold of our finances). Ever since, we have both been pretty passionate about using our money wisely and being generous with what little we have. We are well aware that anything we have is God’s, and we are merely stewards.
But here’s my “dilemma”. Our home is a total modge podge of free stuff we’ve been given, or acquired from various sales or friends. Basically, nothing matches. And I mean nothing. And I’m ok with it. Kind of. As the wife and mother and keeper of our home, I have strived to make our home a place of “shalom” for our family. I do recognize that keeping our bank account from going empty also creates an atmosphere of peace and rest, so in that respect, we are ok. But I am still dreaming of a coastal cottage, even in our 2 bedroom, midwestern apartment. 🙂
I so far have stayed away from “pinning” home items on pinterest because I don’t want to tempt myself into despair that we don’t have a beautiful home from the world’s perspective. But as James’s internship and seminary enters the 2nd and final year, we have been praying and getting direction in where to end up permanently. Our hearts are both drawn to the New England area, so as we seek future employment, the thought of settling down somewhere has inspired me to dream about what kind of house/home we want. I really don’t care what the outside looks like, but a cottage themed inside has captured my heart, and I’ve begun looking for ways to redecorate the things we already have in this mismatched place we call home.
I refuse to buy anything new if at all possible, so I will be frequenting garage sales, thrift stores and consignment sales all summer, but here-in-lies the problem in my heart.
People live in homes like these:
And truth be told, this apartment, or a house in Boston will never be our true home. This “unsettled” feeling will never leave as long as I live on this earth, because this earth, as it is right now, was never meant to satisfy our longing.
So finally creating a space that looks as inviting as I dream might make me happy initially, I will always long for more, because Jesus has not yet returned to make this earth our new and forever home with Him.
But in the meantime, is it ok to continue creating a beautiful space for our family to reside, even while people live in dirty metal sheds, or have no shelter at all?
Sweet Jesus, I long for your return even more today so we will share in your glory and beauty and no longer try to manufacture it here on earth. I want a home for those who have no home, and I pray they find rest and shelter today.