Tonight, I sat in the old blue recliner, rocking my rather large nearly one year old baby boy. He fell asleep in my arms and considering how quickly the past year flew by, I was ok with that. I sat and stared at his angelic little face, recalling events that were occurring exactly one year ago right now. It’s amazing how vividly an experience like laboring and birthing a little human being can be branded into your memory.
I reminisced with him about how one year ago right now, I was walking the halls of the hospital with his daddy, missing the hospital back home in Omaha in which I had given birth to both girls. Stopping every 3ish minutes to squeeze the hand-railing, closing my eyes as a contraction rolled in, nearly taking my breath away. Laughing at one of James’s comments, wincing in pain as laughter turned to contraction over and over again. Feeling my hugely swollen feet squish on the floor inside my hospital slipper socks. Watching the faces of other relatives visiting their newly birthed (grand)babies find out that this wasn’t our first baby, but our third. (Apparently we’re too young to have 3 kids!)
I’m watching the clock tonight, remembering how LONG and emotional that night was. Feeling so incredibly thankful for the woman who came to watch our girls and stay the night, while also desperately missing my mom and mother-in-law being able to come at the drop of a hat.
I have such fond memories of both girls’s births. Friendly, sarcastic nurses. I actually remember having fun and feeling really relaxed about the whole experience. Unfortunately everything about Titus’s birth-story makes me feel just a little bit stressed out. From the nurse who told me to take benedryl and go home, to the pediatrician who refused to release Titus due to some wacky blood sugar issues, the whole 2+ days still makes my blood pressure and heart rate rise a bit.
Thankfully, a child is more than their birth story and I am fully aware that all in all, everything went just perfectly. In the past year, our little man has brought smiles, laughs, and reminders of God’s faithfulness and provision, even in our great, exhausted weakness.
I find myself watching our three little munchkins carefully as this summer comes to a close. Willing their smiles, sun kissed noses and baby pool wet hair to last in my minds-eye for eternity. Capturing the sounds of high pitched squeals of delight, pattering feet on the tile floor, questions a mile a minute too early in the morning…I wonder often what the finished product of our family will be like. Or will we ever be able to say “we’re done?” As we look to foster and/or adopt I find it hard to believe I’ll ever turn down a child who needs a home, even for a little while, but that’s another blog for another day.
I had such a long night ahead of me one year ago tonight. But what a year we had ahead of us as we transitioned to a family of 5! We are so thankful for the addition to our family this little guy has become and it’s hard to imagine anything different.